For those who want to lose weight for free, what is the secret? Is it a mystery beyond the pyramids, UFO’s, ghostly appearances, or the missing sock? When people look in the mirror to see their fat self it may seem to be. But it isn’t hard to lose weight without spending money. Follow these tips.

Catch a virus. No really, get sick. Serious illness is a great way to lose weight, provided there’s a recovery. Sick today, thin tomorrow is the saying. That’s as ridiculous as it seems. So forget it.

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Losing weight is a snap if you severely cut calories. That means burn more calories than you take in. Drink nothing but water to force your body to draw on fat reserves. If you have the endurance to do this for weeks or months at a time, even better. All of that is a joke, except for the part about eating less than you burn. It shouldn’t be as extreme as only water for meals, but drinking water in the place of juices and soda would save the average person about 90,000 calories over the course of a year, that’s 25 pounds worth of calories. Smaller portions, less soda and juice Period.

Exercise as if the slave master will whip you if you stop moving. That means don’t stop until you can’t even crawl. Remember those Moses movies? Did you ever see a fat slave working on those pyramids? Back to reality, exercise to burn calories is important to losing weight. 30 minutes a day seven days a week, rather than hours and hours until you drop, is fine. While seven days a week is best, if you can’t do it, go for six, or five, or even four. Try for seven days but if you miss a day here or there don’t panic.

Bigger muscles mean a faster metabolism and more calorie use. So use a personal trainer, preferably one that really dislikes you, and have them push you to at least three hours a day, seven days a week of gut wrenching muscle building. Become a hulk, a mass of muscles so large that you have to constantly eat just to keep up with the wild metabolism. Of course, in the real world weight training doesn’t have to be to the level of a marine drill instructor, so really just weight train in moderation. Keep off the weight with muscle training at least three days a week. In the long run muscles burn more calories than fat, even without moving.

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Insanity isn’t needed to shed pounds. Your budget can even be 0. Lose weight for free with diet and exercise. Eat less than you burn.

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